Background
Methods
Results
Age | Occupation | Nationality | Religion | Vaginismus Subtype |
---|---|---|---|---|
24 | Research Assistant | American | None (raised Catholic) | Primary Partial |
31 | Visitor Assistant (museum) | British | Christian | Secondary Partial Situational |
23 | Volunteer/Artist/Missionary | American | Christian (Protestant) | Primary Partial |
31 | Data analyst | British | Christian | Primary Partial/Total |
21 | Student/Barmaid | British | Christian (Methodist) | Secondary Partial Situational |
41 | Administrator | British | None | Primary Total |
67 | Retired Natural | British | Christian (Methodist) | Secondary Total |
Health Therapist | ||||
39 | Research scientist | British | None | Primary Partial |
31 | Freelance | British | Not practising (Greek Orthodox) | Primary Total |
Designer | ||||
51 | Not working/carer | British | Not practising (Catholic) | Primary Partial |
20 | Student | British | None | Secondary Total/Partial/Situational |
26 | Unemployed(IT) | British | Agnostic | Primary |
23 | Waitress | American | Roman Catholic | Primary Total |
Participant number | Summary of experience |
---|---|
1 | First contact with GP, self-directed use of VTs followed by short term physiotherapy using VTs - not yet recovered. |
2 | First contact with relate (“Marriage Guidance) reassurance but no support given. Several years later saw GP, referred to NHS clinic, not helpful. 20 years later successful self-treatment. |
3 | First contact with GP, referred to relate, not helfpful. Self-directed use of VTs. Waiting for referral to gynecology - not yet recovered. |
4 | Vaginismus caused by rape. First contact with GP, referral for counselling - didn’t go because of offensive referrral letter. Went to relate, sensate focus and VTs not helpful. Referred to counselling, not helpful. Referral to psychosexual nurse, not helpful. Awaiting referral to physiotherapy. Not yet recovered. |
5 | First contact with GP series of referrals to gynecology, problem not recognised. GP referral to specialists clinic - finding treatment helpful, but not yet recovered. |
6 | First contact with GP, referred for psychosexual therapy, but husband could not attend so therapy terminated by therapist. GP suggested Relate. but this not taken up. Used self-hynotherapy recording. Now able to have sex, but not able have internal examinations. |
7 | First contact GP (problem initially not recognized), self referral to relate for counselling and VTs - relationship improved, but vaginismus not resolved. Referral to specialist clinic - just started therapy, hopeful of a resolution. |
8 | First contact with relate counselling and VTs - successful treatment. |
9 | First contact with PCP, who refused PCP refused exam/ diagnosis until after marriage. Referral to psychologist.- not helpful. Did own research and used VTs in vaginismus.com programme. Referral to specialist physiotherapist. Slow progress, not yet recovered. |
10 | Problems caused by ovarian cyst. Repeated referrals to gynecology before vaginismus diagnosed, then referred to specialist clinic. Experiencing progress, but not yet recovered. |
11 | First contact PCP, problem not recognized. Referred to gynecologist advised to purchase VTs. Self directed treatment with VTs. Unable to take up physiotherapy referral due to cost. Some progress, but not yet recovered. |
12 | First contact GP, referral to gynecology, referral to specialist clinic - much improved able to have intercourse but still in treatment. |
13 | First contatc GP, referred to gynecology given diagnosis and VTs, one appointment with nurse. No progress. Requested further support, advised to persist, unable to persist due to pain. Given up on treatment. Not recovered. |
Difficult Journey
Into treatment
I was too embarrassed to… Or not… I wasn’t 100 % confident if I was actually… what I was experiencing was just normal, or something unusual that I needed help for, so I did it at the same time as doing something else. So I didn’t go in to speak to her about it, I went to her when I needed to get my pills redone, and asked her then, ‘Oh, and by the way’. P7:3 2
When you are at home you are like 'Right, I am going to tell him, I am going to tell him' and when you go there you don't. P5:18
It didn't resolve - clearly - because these things don't necessarily, and so later I went to my GP and that would have been probably three or four years later. P2:1
You lie down in a specific position that makes you feel quite vulnerable, and there is a doctor standing at the opposite end of you and she is trying to stick her finger in you [both laugh]. And then it doesn't go in and she is saying 'Relax. Relax. Relax'. P3:17
They tried to give me a smear, the nurse, but I was in too much pain. So then I went to see a female doctor, who just looked at me… she hardly touched me and I just screamed. P6:3
It was all a bit difficult, but then after that, when I went back, I went back for the examination under anaesthetic and the nurses there were super, and afterwards he explained to me what he’d found. P13:2
It was like they were calling me a liar I suppose… I would say to every single one 'I have already been tested, you can test me whenever you want…' but no it was get on the couch and do all the plastic and crap and send it off. P5:14
Just being really clear about what’s going on during the exam and showing me yes ‘we are using the paediatric size speculum because I know that’s an issue’ ha ha, and, yes just I mean I guess just mainly the personality that thing, but just being able to talk about any of it, like ‘I’m putting it in, now I’m going to open it up, you know I’m doing the PAP smear bit now, I am going to tap here’… It just sort of made it a whole lot easier to deal with than just kind of like routine ‘okay legs open, ready?’ P11:7
My doctor was just so fed up, because he'd referred me to a few people and he said, he sort of said ‘why do I have to keep writing all these letters?’ P4:6
You go into a system, then they kind of put you away somewhere… I think the fact that he looked and found where he could choose to put me, that was nice. I’m grateful I’m there, definitely that he took the time. P5:12
I mean like now it is as if they don't want to help, they want someone else to help, which is a bit annoying because when our local hospital doesn't have a therapist anymore, they are having to apply for funding for me to see someone in the next town. So I have got to wait for all that. P6:5
Because we were paying for the therapy, it was private, we just… I thought that I had learned enough and that I had accepted the problems that I had. P8:5
[the doctor] referred me to a … therapist here which I can’t afford to go to, I mean there is no way, but I called them and I told them about my insurance and they told me it was probably going to be between $150 to $200 per visit. P11:10
Being in Treatment
[the Doctor] went and looked online, you know, Vaginmus.com, and stuff I mentioned to her, and she looked at it, and she said, ‘Well this sounds like a great idea, why don’t you try ordering some for yourself?’ And I did, but of course she wasn’t able to instruct me in how to use them. P1:7/8
When I first started using them [VTs] I was living with my parents, so it was a little awkward at the time, I wasn’t really sure how to do that without them, finding out. And my mother never liked to knock, so that was always a problem. P1:9
Sometimes it’s a toss-up between doing some work or doing my trainers and I choose work [laughs], over trainers. P10:12
Because I tried once, and never, never again, because I had no instruction or I didn't know what to do. So they [VTs] have just stayed in the bag, stayed in the drawer and I wouldn't do it again, but… until I saw the woman I am seeing now and she asked me about them. I said I have got some, and it turns out I have got the wrong ones. P5:7
Every time I tried it [VT] was almost as if I was torturing myself. P13:18
I went back once and I said ‘I am still having the same difficulty’ and the advice I was given ‘well just carry on trying and eventually you will find that it will help you’ and that was it [laughs]. P13:8
It takes a lot of patience and you know when you read some testimonies on the site of some women saying that they completed the entire programme and within 3 months [they were better], that’s the hope that you have when you first get it. P9:8
So I thought oh wow! I am going to go and see a therapist who knows exactly what they are talking about, and she is going to be able to cure us in two weeks. But obviously it wasn't like that. P8:7
It’s kind of an event when I do it erm, it’s less of an event than it used to be… I was kind of terrified for a while. P11:6
And then we would go back and be all embarrassed and report that everything was fine, but I think they believed that where everything was fine and we were doing everything we should. But it wasn't fine; it was only ever painful and horrible and awkward and uncomfortable, and embarrassing. P2:4
Instead of like having to do this every day and trying to because it’s not really something I want to think about like. It’s not a very womanly thing to be broken, [laughs], but I don’t know I just try and push it to the back of my mind. P10:4
I probably had one of the worst times of my life was going through this therapy and this sort of trauma. P3:17/18
Needing a sense of progress, I guess just to make sure you know I had some questions at the beginning like am I doing this right, what’s supposed to be happening, am I supposed to be feeling, I don’t know, am I supposed do it so that I don’t feel any pain at all or you know, should I try to almost like trick the muscle a little bit and slip it in before anything happens or should I go really, really slowly and, I guess yes, that was a concern for a while that I was doing it wrong and I was wasting my time. P11:7
Making the Journey easier
Partner support
My Partner has been amazing, because he, he bugs me about it; he is like [jovially] ‘Oi! I want to have sex! Use your trainers!’ So that’s very helpful. P10:12
If you have got this condition, you need somebody who is behind you every step of the way because it’s… it’s a traumatic experience, that affects you and if they don’t understand, then its not going to help you at all…So as I say you know, like any women who have got it, if they’ve got a supportive partner it makes all the difference I think, definitely. P12:15
Then when you’re trying to sort out other problems, it gives… it sort of says, ‘well why should he have to sort out the problems that we’ve got if… Why should he make changes if I’m just not making an effort in sex?’, because that’s how it felt to him. P7:21
I was trying to cope with the pain to be fair to my husband and I couldn’t, I couldn’t fulfil what I felt …not just that I felt I should, I mean we’d had a really good sex life until then, and I missed it. P13:10
He also seems kind of afraid. Like I’ve asked him a couple of times if he would use the dilators with me, and he just… he says, you know, ‘I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to do something that’ll make you feel bad about it’, since he would be the one there using them. I’ve tried to coax him and do it a couple of times, but he is… he… I guess he is worried. P1:12
Professional support
She [doctor] is genuinely such a nice person, and she is not up tight, and she will just sit back and talk to you like you are a human I suppose. P5:15
Their [clinicians’] approach was really genuine, and they didn’t make me feel as if I was making a fuss, they didn’t make me feel, which I have had from other people from time to time that it was a bit of a fuss for somebody for my age to be worrying about things like that. P13:15
They have dealt with this before, they’ve dealt with plenty of people with the same problem, and they have techniques which they have… which have proven to work in the past. P7:18
She learned I think she… you know, she heard from me, and then went and did research on her own, which was great, like I really, really appreciated that, that she did that. P1:16
I will say sometimes [to partner] 'Do you want to come this week, we could do with talking?' Or I will say 'I don't mind going on my own', kind of means that I need to talk to her [clinician] on my own, so. No, at first I was afraid to go on my own, and then I kind of sucked it up and thought I will try it and see what it was like, and it turned out actually it is really helpful being able to go on my own sometimes, especially when I want to talk about trainers and stuff it is a lot easier [laughs]. It is nice having the choice. P5:16/17
I think to take it off of me as well. So obviously we were doing it… my boyfriend and I were doing it together. I think it was to bond both of us. So if she concentrated just on me, which is obviously a large part of the therapy perhaps he would feel excluded as well. P8:10/11
Peer support/helping each other
I guess the like being able to use the Internet and research it and look on Forums and stuff and find other people that are having the same problems and yes, do find like using the trainers like tedious and whatever, its good to know that there is other people out there. P10:12
Just people that understand exactly what you are going through that don't judge you for what you are saying, and don't think you are a freak because they understand. P3:15
You know, I think I got more information about breathing and different positions and like angling it properly… I really got it off the internet to be honest. P11:8
Well I told a friend, who knew of a friend who had it, who had used the self hypnosis and it is like a… I downloaded it as an MP3. P6:16