Background
Methods
Participant recruitment
Participant characteristics
Characteristics | n | % |
---|---|---|
Age | ||
18–35 | 7 | 23.3 |
36–45 | 15 | 50.0 |
46 and above | 8 | 26.7 |
Education | ||
Elementary school or below | 5 | 16.7 |
Middle school | 9 | 30.0 |
High school | 15 | 50.0 |
College | 1 | 3.3 |
Employment | ||
Stable job | 7 | 23.3 |
Unstable job(s) | 21 | 70.0 |
Unemployed | 2 | 6.7 |
Transmission route | ||
Sexual | 20 | 66.7 |
Needle sharing | 4 | 13.3 |
Unclear | 6 | 20.0 |
Marital status | ||
Married | 13 | 43.3 |
Divorced or separated | 5 | 16.7 |
Widowed | 8 | 26.7 |
Single | 4 | 13.3 |
Partners’ HIV status | ||
Positive | 11 | 36.7 |
Negative | 13 | 43.3 |
Unknown | 3 | 10.0 |
N/A | 3 | 10.0 |
Number of children | ||
0 | 3 | 10.0 |
1 | 18 | 60.0 |
2 | 9 | 30.0 |
Number of children after tested HIV + | ||
0 | 16 | 53.3 |
1 | 13 | 43.3 |
2 | 1 | 0.03 |
Having child(ren) tested HIV + | ||
Yes | 2 | 6.7 |
No | 28 | 93.3 |
Data collection
Data analysis
Results
Family planning
Without a child, they [husband’s family] still think that I’m like an outsider…She [mother-in-law] doesn’t really see me as her daughter. Firstly, I am sick. Secondly, I can’t give birth to children for their family. (Woman aged 50, middle school education, unstable employment, one adult child)
I suffered a lot and was on the verge of death after giving birth to my first child. Moreover, I was addicted to drugs, so I didn’t know how to take care of myself. However, my husband insisted on keeping our child as he was the only son in the family, and he had no child. (Woman aged 41, high school education, unstable employment, two teenage children)
A bad health condition or illness would prevent me from raising them. For this reason, I decided not to have kids. Now, I am even more certain of it. I am unable to have a stable family or husband and children. Having these things makes a woman feel secure. My current situation is… “Single mom” is what it’s called. (Woman aged 40, middle school education, unstable employment, one adult child)
When I found out about my condition, I didn’t have anybody to share things with. I didn’t know any group or organization…and I didn’t know where to ask for help. I would have gotten an abortion because I fell into despair. I thought having this condition meant my life had already come to an end. (Woman aged 37, middle school education, unstable employment, two children: one teenager and one younger).
Our economic situation means that we can’t provide the best conditions for our child. That’s the foremost reason for not having more, not because of the disease. So of course, it did affect my plan. I will not have another child. (Woman aged 35, high school education, unstable employment, one teenage child)
Pregnancy and perinatal care
I started taking the medicine that helped prevent HIV transmission to my baby. When I had my delivery…the doctors made me undergo sterilization. I accepted…I was afraid that my daughter would be infected with HIV, so I accepted the operation. (Woman aged 43, some elementary school education, unstable employment, two children: one adult and one teenager)
They [hospital staff] said there was nobody specializing in baby delivery in such circumstances [HIV positive mothers]. They advised me to go to the National Hospital instead. (Woman aged 37, middle school education, unstable employment, two children: one teenager and one younger)
When I entered the delivery room, the doctors there discriminated against me. The doctors didn’t want to take care of me. There were many times when I had labor pain and I asked for an operation multiple times, but the doctors just ignored me. (Woman aged 36, high school education, stable job, one teenage child)
I was expected to be in labor in early December. That was my due date. However, after I had been diagnosed [with HIV], the doctor said, ‘I don’t care whether you will be in labor in early December. You will have a cesarean section next Monday. (Woman aged 44, high school education, unstable employment, one teenage child)
They [the hospital staff] didn’t dare to touch me. It was in 2006 when people didn’t know much about my illness…At that time, while I was in pain, they told me to keep waiting, waiting, waiting... I gave birth right on the spot. My husband delivered my baby…no one would help me (Woman aged 41, high school education, unstable employment, two teenage children)
Postpartum care and support
Most people knew that I got HIV so they wouldn’t bathe the baby. We just bathed our baby ourselves. Also, in that hospital, there were no wound care services…my family asked, they just said no. (Woman aged 36, high school education, unstable employment, two young children)
When it came to my operation, the woman who did my hospital papers said that I had to pay more to support the doctors, the operation team. But I saw that my friends… for this same thing...they paid 1 million dong, some 2 million, and some 3 million…but for me the deal was 7 million dong. 7 million is not a big amount of money, but for my husband and I, it was everything. There were more payments with paper signing, in total it was 11 million dong or so. (Woman aged 35, high school education, unstable employment, one young child)
It was after a month when I came to get her examinations done that the nurse asked me whether my daughter was taking medications. I told her that I didn’t know…The staff over at the hospital said that as soon as we went home after the birth, they suddenly remembered us. They said that I did not pick up the phone when they called. But no one was calling me. Those nurses said it was my fault! (Woman aged 29, college education, unstable employment, one young child)
They helped me deliver, and that’s all. There were no medications. There was nothing here back then. My baby got infected. After that time, I didn’t dare give birth. To date, I still have not given birth again. (Woman aged 44, high school education, unstable employment, one adult child)
I purposely didn’t let my breast milk flow so that my son had to get milk from other sources, so that…there was no contact between us...I only knew not to breastfeed my baby, I didn’t really know much else. I just thought about ‘not being near my baby.’ (Woman aged 36, some high school education, unstable employment, one teenage child)
Childcaring and parenting
I don’t know how long I will live. I’m also worried that there are many things I haven’t done for my children, I’m just afraid that my children are still small and if I get sick then I don’t know how they will live. (Woman aged 38, middle school education, stable employment, one teenage child)
At that time, I also had my biological mother, my biological mother took care of my son from A to Z…When I was sick like that, I had my mom take care of everything for my son. (Woman aged 36, some high school education, unstable employment, one teenage child)
I told my sister first. At that time, I thought I might not be able to live, so she could know my situation and my children…If I die, she will help take care of them for me. (Woman aged 45, some elementary school education, stable employment, two children: one adult and one teenager)
It has been 17 years since my husband died. I raise my son on my own. I have been taking on different responsibilities for the past 19 years. My son is 19 years old, and I have been in charge of everything myself, completely alone…I raise my kid alone, teach him things alone. In general, I take care of everything, from A to Z, alone. (Woman aged 38, middle school education, stable employment, having one adult child)
Sometimes I think about my [deceased] husband and I think about my child. If I die now, she will have a hard life, having no father and no mother…It’s not worth it to die because of HIV. I try to maintain positive thoughts and to live well so that my daughter won’t be ashamed of me. (Woman aged 55, elementary school education, unstable employment, one teenage child)
There was only one tiny room (at home), if they (the children) didn’t stay with us, where would they go? When we were in withdrawal, we didn’t think about anything, we let the two small children sit and play next to us while we were on drugs, because no one was watching them for me. Once while I was using drugs, my children even played with a syringe (Woman aged 41, some high school education, unstable employment, two teenage children)
Neighbors told people not to play with my children because their mother is HIV positive. When I heard that, I was very angry. I felt very sad…There was a time when my child went to kindergarten, the teacher did not allow it. The teacher kept saying that other parents did not agree for my child to study there…I brought a paper with negative test results, but the teacher wouldn’t listen. (Woman aged 38, middle school education, stable employment, one teenage child)